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The Dells
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The Dalles
The Dells is a fascinating stop. We not only recommend it as a first night on trips to the Boundary Waters, Black Hills, Glacier, Yellowstone and points further West, but we suggest staying over an extra night to explore its various attractions. What we find so interesting about The Dells is that it encompasses the best and worst of American culture. The Dells first became a popular Midwest resort because of its natural beauty. The river has carved out miles of canyons and wierd rock formations. Boat rides through this geological maze are one of Wisconsin's great experiences. Tours in amphibious vehicles, jet boats, modern boats, horses and hiking trails access the Dells, a misspelling of the original word Dalles. To service all the tourists, a strip of motels and restaurants grew up. Today, The Dells is such a popular stop they have to import workers from Europe for the summer season because the county does not have enough teenagers to fill all the jobs. The Dells is a popular Amtrak stop on the Empire Builder route between Chicago and Seattle. With its interstate location, The Dells is a weekend playground for Minneapolis and Chicago families. With all these tourists, other attractions have arisen : cranberry bogs, cheese factories, hour long steam train rides, and a circus museum.. These natural and historical attractions are why we like The Dells. But they're not the whole story.
In the last two decades, a whole new section of town has opened up. It is one of the great displays of American Tacky. The Dells is unquestionably the nation's water park capitol. Noah's Ark is a major water park. From both interstate exits down a three mile avenue are huge indoor and outdoor waterparks attached to motels. They are extravagantly themed with cartoon characters, jungles, tidal waves, whales and other aquatic icons. And that's only the beginning. There are amusement parks, with rival roller coasters facing each other across the hilltops. And there are bizarre attractions, like the Upside Down Whitehouse (left). You can tour a perfect replica of the president's residence --- upside down. There's a Ripley's Believe It or Not, a dozen sophisticated musical shows, two dozen world class miniature golf courses, a mine where you can pan for gemstones, and numerous shops peddling Made in China souvenirs. There is a full sized replica of the Roman Coliseum, a model of the Trojan Horse, a Torture Museum, and on and on. There are families who spend their annual week or two week vacation right here and love it.

There are 50 motels at The Dells, but your choice comes down to traditional or water park inclusive. Traditional motels are over on the old main street, called Broadway, close to restaurants, stores and boat docks. Many of them are 1950 classics, with wide lawns, shade trees, outdoor pools, Adirondack lawn furniture, swings and window air conditioners. We like staying at these because they offer a taste of olden time. But they also offer much better rates, and they are very cooperative with groups.

The newer ones, with their outdoor and indoor water parks, are at the interstate exits or on Wisconsin Dells Parkway, referred to by locals and frequent visitors as Tacky Boulevard.

To fully explore everything The Dells offers would take a week. To take both an Upper and Lower Dells boat tour and eat lunch will require most of a day. There's half a day of stores to browse. You could spend one whole day at the amusement parks, and another day at the water parks. The Cheese factory and Cranberry museum and related tours would require a day. Riding the train, jet boats, horses and Ducks will fill up another day. Filling in the gaps are miniature golf courses, live stage shows, swimming, canoeing, hiking, several museums, and a different restaurant every meal. We don't consider the Dells a destination resort like many of its fans do, but we love it as a stop en route to or from another destination.
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